why do some women hesitate to call themselves feminists?

Question

I am writing a paper that shows how many bright confident women don't consider themselves feminists. I am also focusing on why the word "feminist" has such a negative connotation. I really need to quote people's (preferrably women's) feelings on why they don't consider themselves feminist. If i do use your quote, i promise to list your name as a source.

Answer 1

1. They don't dare to challenge the power structure.



Not only men, but also a plenty of women don't feel comfortable about any idea that challenges the existing and well-established power structures in our societies. And feminism is exactly what challenges them and put them into a question. Many people just afraid of loosing their positions, money or power if give the equal rights to the Others. So it is understandable that many women who chose to live dependently, respect the traditional values or use their sex appeal to reach some goals feel disturbed with the idea of feminism. Besides, dependency, sex-manipulation or good marriage look like faster and less painful ways to ensure one's life, isn't it?



2. Feminism is painful.



If you act as a feminist and call yourself that name, you expose yourself to a lot of resentment, blaming, criticism and even dolorousness, especially if you live in a non-supporting surrounding where you are the only feminist and where there is no any social, cultural or academic community where you can belong and feel stronger. Furthermore, facing your own inequality just because you are a woman, experiencing your own exclusion from some public activities hurts. It is not easy to think of yourself as discriminated and deprived from the rights that are self-understanding for men. That is why many women use to say that they are just satisfied with their traditional role (psychological mechanism of denying)



3. "Moral" issue



One of the prejudices about feminists is that they are lesbians or too much sexually free and independent (I wonder what is "too much" if applied on men) so they have a bad reputation. Many women afraid that they will not get a job or pass the exam if they express any kind of feminist outlook.



4. Emotional issue



As a majority of people, many women think that feminism is about hating man and being against them. Whereas they love their men, they feel as they hurt and undermine their own feelings if they let any feminist idea to appear in their mind. .



Those were some of the reasons I have noticed in women's reactions on feminism. Thank you for this question and for make me think about it more concretely.

Answer 2

I'm not a feminist as described by Germain Greer, she's the one that started the burning the bra rally in Australia in the 1970's. That's too radical. I'm more of a equalist that looks at the disadvantages on women as a whole by a male domineering society. But men need to feel that they are needed too, and there is an abuse against men now that radical feminism has bought on. My parent's worked equally in the household and around the house, like the gardening etc. It was just a logical thing, if it needed to be done then whoever was there, mum or dad, did it. So I was brought up on these values.

Answer 3

actually I do consider myself to be a feminist, however I am not an activist. I think that is where the terms have become mutated to be defined as the same thing. Feminist suffragates risked much, paid high prices for the freedom ALL of us WOMEN and MEN enjoy today. I am a feminist because not to be ridicules all the efforts of women and men who fought for my rights today. I am not an activist though, I do not carry a sign and shout from the trees taht my rights are being violated, however if I feel I am being put at a disadvantage because of my gender, I will stand my ground and insist upon fair and proper treatment. I do this to model to my daughters that it is essential for ALL to stand up and take pride in who they are and not to allow those rights that have been hard fought and won be diminished by those who would oppress others.

I work in a traditional male oriented job, I am an interior/exterior painter and I am the only female in the company. I had to work hard, arrive early stay late, work for a pittance, insist on my salary increases, work with men 20-30yrs my senior and be scoffed at by them alot. In fact I am the first female FOREWOMAN they have ever had and this year I will run a crew of up to 10 men. I am sure there will be challenges in this AND I plan to remain a feminist throughout.

Answer 4

I am very sorry to hear what happened to you and I am aware that you have a broken heart. My thoughts are that parents bear a major responsibility of guilt in all cases were men or women are duped by a partner and marry a fraud, because I have absolutely no doubt that you married someone without a good character, unless you did something major, which is possible too. Parents don't explain anything to their children about finding a partner. I have heard that in some cases, some men and women even tell their children to misrepresent themselves or to marry for the sake of society, not for love, and secretly keep a single man life. I know for example that my dad, he did not do it on purpose (my dad is a gentleman) failed to communicate to my brothers his knowledge about women. My dad traveled a lot and was much more aware of psychopath women in foreign countries than my brothers, two of which married such women. It seems that for some reason, parents presume oftentimes that their children know everything the parents know or that children have a crystal ball. Mothers and grandmothers cover more often with their daughters this type of subject, but they may not know themselves a lot of things concerning men. Parents don't teach their kids anything and children make the same mistakes again and again. Every person who marries an abusive person, has warnings but is unable to recognize them for reasons of personal limitation (distorted perception of reality due to emotional problems; incapacity to distinguish your friends from your enemies; self destruction). The fact that you suffered all the above means that you married the wrong person and that you have issues yourself, otherwise your instinct or gut feeling would have warned you against that person. You cannot undo the past, you must recognize your part of responsibility and try to heal those emotional problems that made you chose such a partner. There is no doubt that there are self destructive or guilt issues here (example: a brother who mistreats his sister may accumulate subconscious guilt and «punish» himself subconsciously by choosing a wrong wife). Or, more down to earth, if you have character problems yourself (whatever they might be, including violence, loss of control, alcoholism, etc) women with a good character would had run away from you, and only the scum or the psychopaths would remain. You have to tackle whatever problem and resolve it. Consider this as an opportunity to grow and better yourself.

Answer 5

The word feminist has a negative vibe because of the ignorance of men. So many men hate feminists because they (the men) don't want their women to get any radical ideas themselves. They want us to shut up, clean up after them, make them food, suck and f**k without complaint. They think that a feminist is someone who is ruining their fun. Also, they think that feminist are ugly because they are strong and intimidating. They are just afraid of losing control. The reason why women refuse to be called feminists, or even to stick up for themselves, is because they have been programmed to believe what men believe about feminists. They are afraid that it will make them ugly and that their men won't want them. They are both totally disillusioned with the reality of Women's Rights and Feminism.

Answer 6

Well, I'd say it's because of remarks like "real feminists hate men." There were some very radical feminists early in the movement who moved into feminist houses and broke contact with men, and most of those women have since grown up and rejoined the real world. Saying feminists hate men is like saying all Republicans are white supremacists. It's an extremist minority.



I do call myself a feminist, although it is difficult because many other people don't understand what that means. It's like calling yourself an atheist, and people think you worship the devil.



I live a pretty traditional life; I am a married stay at home mother of two. But I am very concerned with women's issues, many particularly relating to the lives of mothers and wives. There is still incredible inequity for men and women in our society--women's health care issues are frequently overlooked because they often relate to sex and reproduction, which leads to a morally and politically charged debate. Women who choose to be mothers, such as myself, are at incredible economic disadvantage, which could be easily remedied by extending social security benefits to caregivers, expanding maternity leave benefits, or giving an allowance like the German "Kindergeld."



What needs to happen for feminism to work now is to realize that it doesn't only apply to women. Men have to change their roles, as well. As long as it's still believed that women are primarily responsible for child rearing, for example, "feminism" will be blamed for all the ills of society. Why do kids today have so many problems? It's because their mothers abandoned them to go to work, and so on. But we're only looking at half the equation.



Traditional feminism was kind of about getting women to be like men--independent, career minded. But in doing so, the other things women have traditionally done were undervalued. And so the backlash against feminism. What's important is to value women as they are, and to even allow men to take women's roles. No, men and women aren't exactly the same, but they're not as different as we believe.

Answer 7

The word sometimes has a negative connotation because there are some feminists out there that cross the line into radical goofiness, giving a bad rap to the term.

In general, I see nothing wrong with sticking up for your rights.

But when you become totally blind to the fact that there are real-live differences between the sexes, and insist that everyone else use the same philosophy, then you have crossed that line.

Answer 8

I do not like titles as a rule..people tend to pre-judge

and formulate their own ideas based on the title alone. What is a feminist in this day & age? Just the fact that I

alone can hold down a job, and bring home the bacon, and

fry it as well? That I don't need a man for the survival of

my existance? Do I need to burn my bra to show independence of feminine constraints? As far as some things have come, in

others we have obtained very little progress. Especially in

the South. Just call me one of the women who used to read

Cosmopolitan Magazine in the 1970's...wanted it all, got it

all, and have been doing a precarious balancing act ever since in trying to cope with it all.

Answer 9

I call myself a feminist because feminism was introduced to me in 1963 and again in 1970, when I was in my thirties. At that time feminism was defined as equal pay for equal work. It was about getting a job as a professional after studying a curriculum leading to that position instead of having to work as a stenographer for a professional.



For example, in 1972, I had to type manuscripts of male journalists, even though I had a degree in writing. The women in the typing pool typed. The males were paid more money and worked as journalists at this company. So I became a feminist to find a job as a journalist instead of as a pool typist for a group of male journalists. Also, I wasn't hired on a newspaper because the interviewer told me my husband might not approve of those working hours. I was happy to be a feminist in 1965 in order to find a job as a journalist after working hard in graduate school.

Answer 10

In Hungary it is very negative. If you're a feminist, they think that you don't wear a bra, are a lesbian and hate men in general and want to kill them. I was reluctant to call myself one for years, because of this prejudice. Now I don't care.

Most people are still stuck with the whole bra burning, never mind that only a few people actually did it and it was decades ago. They just don't know the contemporary situation. I think that there should be more of a public awareness on the issue.

Answer 11

I quit thinking of myself as a feminist when the concept/movement changed from seeking equal rights and equal opportunities to hating men, claiming "victim" status, and seeking special privileges.



Edit 3/17: I just don't agree with this attitude.

Feminist Quotes - http://www.fathers.bc.ca/feminist_quotes.htm



"I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which a man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He's just incapable of it." -- Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan



"All men are rapists and that's all they are" -- Marilyn French, Author, "The Women's Room"



"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them." -- Robin Morgan, MS. Magazine Editor



"I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire." -- Robin Morgan



More -- see the website referenced

Answer 12

True feminists want the label. Its an attitude and a lifestyle. They see themselves as righteous activists and visionaries that must lead the fight against male dominance in society. Real feminists hate men. Pseudo feminists are not real feminists. Pseudo feminists identify with one or more feminists causes but are not activists or man haters. Real women are comfortable with their sexuality and their relationships with men. They are balanced, socially functional and are confident in their position as the superior sex.

Answer 13

Because most of the first femenists had been lesbians, femenisem became too closely linked with lesbianism. Men brended all feminists - lesbians and so, straight women, out of fear of not getting a man, shy away from feminism. Big, big shame coz the feminist movement needs straight women and straight women need feminism.. after all they are the ones dealing with men......

Answer 14

The word feminst carries different meaning to different people. If it means equality between sexes then there are plenty of males also who call themselves feminists. Those who do not go deep into it may shun the word altogether. It comes with a lot of baggage.

Answer 15

The term "feminist" has nothing to do with bright confident women. It's a term which describes some women who believe that it's a women's world rather believing that it's a Human World.

Answer 16

I am with Trillian .I used to call myself one as well until I learned that the feminist movement is about hating men. I also found out it's about hating things I used to think I never wanted for myself:marriage, children, traditional values,etc. I know I am equal to my husband. I don't need a bunch of femme-nazi lesbians telling me what I should and shouldn't want for my life. In the process, I want to love my husband. I'm completely self-sufficient and so have all the women in my family dating back to way back when.



Besides, It's only American women that have needed to be "liberated". My women have been liberated for hundreds of years!

Answer 17

"feminist" is a bad term for most women because they imagine modern suffragettes as hairy arm pitted, loud mouthed, and completely non-sexy. it is sad to say that in most cases, a woman can be smart, or she can be hot; after all, most feminists resent women who use their sexuality to their own advantage. i believe all women are powerful and strong, but i am not a feminist, since i see the importance of a sharp mind, as well as a pretty face.

Answer 18

I do not call myself a "feminist" because people assume you are self-sufficient and able to do for yourself and strong and able-bodied, which I am not...



I am disabled and always thank anyone who helps me with opening doors, or taking my groceries to the car or letting me go ahead of them in a line...



I never take that kind of attention for granted...



So even though I am feminine in nature, I am not a feminist in my beliefs towards others...

Answer 19

A better question is why are men hesitant to call themselves feminists?

Answer 20

Most woman believe that they may be perceived as gay/lesbian.