Question:
Men of GS: Do you have any female friends in real life?
2014-11-25 09:57:17 UTC
Let's make sure we're clear on what I'm talking about when I'm asking if you have any "female friends".

These would be women or girls who you associate with independently of them being attached to one of your male friends in some capacity (i.e. - your buddy's girlfriend would not be considered one of your "female friends" if you have never or would never hang out with her without your buddy being there).

This would also mean that you have a platonic friendship and have no intention or desire to turn the friendship into a romantic relationship (and this is regardless of whether or not you find her physically attractive). You are just friends, and you enjoy her company for the friendship, and not as a covert means of eventually tricking her into becoming your girlfriend by feigning interest in her as a person. You are ACTUALLY interested in her as a person.

Please also provide the following information in your answer:
1) How old are you?
2) Are you heterosexual?
3) How many female friends do you have?
3) Do you now, or have you ever had, a girlfriend? If yes, did that impact your ability or desire to have female friends?
4) How close would you consider your female friends to you, if you have any? (best friend, good friend, confidante, casual acquaintance, etc.)
5) Do you affiliate yourself with any aspect of the "manosphere", i.e. - do you consider yourself an MRA, MGTOW, PUA, PUAhate member, Red-piller, etc?
21 answers:
Jared
2014-11-25 11:39:49 UTC
Yeah, I have many female friends.



Many of them are attached to guys I know, but that doesn't make them any less my friends. I enjoy their company; I'm interested in their lives independently of their boyfriends.



A few of them are unattached; I have four close single female friends that I can think of off the top of my head. All four of these could have earned the label of "best friend" at a given point in my life, though we've drifted a little, as friendships sometimes do.



One of them turned into a relationship after a couple years. The other three never did.



I've had quite a few girlfriends, and yes, it makes it harder to have female friends. The way it goes is that everyone says they're totally cool with it. Then the girlfriend can't stop herself from being suspicious, and the friend can't stop herself from feeling like an interloper, and you have to take a step back just to maintain everybody's sanity.



I don't consider myself an MRA/MTGOW/Red-Piller/etc., although I'm also not exactly opposed to the movement. It's one of those nascent movements that makes some good points but has a tendency to take them to ridiculous extremes.
Poseidon
2014-11-26 05:00:10 UTC
Yes. Most of my friends and all of my besties are women. Most of those are attached so they're not legitimate romantic prospects.



1) How old are you? 39



2) Are you heterosexual? Yes



3) How many female friends do you have? A lot



3) Do you now, or have you ever had, a girlfriend? If yes, did that impact your ability or desire to have female friends? Currently single. Had a girlfriend this past summer, no effect on other friends (except having less time for them).



4) How close would you consider your female friends to you, if you have any? (best friend, good friend, confidante, casual acquaintance, etc.) 5 of them would be close. Two of them will be in the groom's party at my wedding if I find a bride.



5) Do you affiliate yourself with any aspect of the "manosphere", i.e. - do you consider yourself an MRA, MGTOW, PUA, PUAhate member, Red-piller, etc? No
2014-11-25 10:26:33 UTC
All of my close friends are male. I have had one or two close female friends but most have been men. I'm not trying to offend, but women tend to make lousy friends. They're usually not as reliable and trustworthy friends as male friends are.



1) How old are you? 31 next month.

2) Are you heterosexual? I'm heterosexual but practice asexuality.

3) How many female friends do you have? A small handful.

3) Do you now, or have you ever had, a girlfriend? If yes, did that impact your ability or desire to have female friends? I've only had a couple girlfriends. I'm single perpetually though.

4) How close would you consider your female friends to you, if you have any? (best friend, good friend, confidante, casual acquaintance, etc.) Their nice but we're not super close.

5) Do you affiliate yourself with any aspect of the "manosphere", i.e. - do you consider yourself an MRA, MGTOW, PUA, PUAhate member, Red-piller, etc? I am none of the above.
?
2014-11-26 05:37:12 UTC
1. Born in the 90's.

2. Yes.

3. 3 close female friends. A handful of others but now they're my friends girlfriends, and many casual acquaintances. Yes, I had a girlfriend and it did impact my desire to have female friends. Now, I still make new female friends, but don't get too close to them or vice versa.

4. Pretty close, we know each other from middle school. I trust and share everything with them, except some emotional problems.

5. Anti-feminist.
Viola Ted
2014-11-25 10:25:13 UTC
As a married man, most of my female friends are my wife's friends. I have a few independent of her, but it's generally not worth the hassle with my wife if they aren't old, fat and/or ugly. They are definitely more than just casual acquaintances, but we're not particularly close for reasons already mentioned. I also have LOTS of female relatives.



I'm a heterosexual (obviously) man in my 30s.



MRA, MGTOW, PUA et al seem ridiculous to me.
?
2014-11-25 19:37:01 UTC
No, I don't have female friends; only male friends. I do get along well with my female colleagues, though. I chatter to them, amuse them, confide in them, but it never develops into friendship. To be blunt, I'm not interested in relationships with women outside of a sexual context.



1. 24

2. Yes.

3. None.

4. My GFs say they don't mind me having a female friend but, of course, she mustn't be pretty.

5. N/a

6. No. I'm rather traditional on gender issues.
Common Sense
2014-11-25 10:23:14 UTC
1. Not telling.

2. yes

3. 6 fairly close female friends, many more not as close.

4. yes,

5. Probably not. I don't like some of the discrimination against males, I see, but I am not a an MRA or part of the Manosphere.
Jaja
2014-11-26 06:18:35 UTC
1) I'm 18

2) Yes ,I'm heterosexual

3)Quite a lot.I'm a pretty sociable guy though not in a sexually attractive way.

4)Yes.It had no effect.I like to keep my friend circle large (though i'd like to keep my 'Close friend' circle small.)

5)Most are casual aquaintances ,quite a few 'good' friends and one 'best friend'

6) I am MRA , Red-Pill and ESPECIALLY an MGTOW.
?
2014-11-25 19:45:47 UTC
1) I am 22.



2) Heterosexual.



3) I have 9 muses but by the question's rule and standards none.



3) A third of the girls I've dated were either were whores who thought I used them as a buffer or girls who wouldn't stop bickering about senseless things or wouldn't stop texting/calling me. They made it hard and easy to want other female company.



4) I consider my female friends casual acquaintances, good friends, and my confidants.



5) I don't affiliate myself with any.
Loki
2014-11-25 11:20:44 UTC
Yes, I do. Majority of my friends are female.



Although my closest friend is a guy, all of my other friends who I feel close to and am most comfortable with are all female.



In fact, several of my female friends are pretty sexually attractive, but my relationship with them is completely platonic.



Quite a few of them have also told me that they find me conventionally handsome, but that doesn't mean that we have any interest of hooking up with each other.



I keep my dating life separate from my friends. I tend to hook up with women I pick up at college parties, I have no intention of ruining my friendships by hitting on my female friends.



1) I am 22 years old.



2) I am straight as an arrow.



3) I have a group of 16 friends in my college, of which 9 are female. I am also in touch with several of my female friends from school and some I met at other places like at the pool.



4) I am really close to 2 of them. I guess you could say they are my best friends.



5) Yeah. I support the men's rights movement and I also empathise with the MGTOWs, although I am not one myself. I dislike PUAs. I feel they are disrespectful towards women and just disgusting humans in general.
Beta The White Knight
2014-11-25 10:07:16 UTC
None, I live under a rock, but on the plus side the rents cheap and there's been hardly no murders here.

I'm 26, heterosexual, to many to count, yes, it didn't really impact my ability to have female friends because my female friends aren't what you would call good or close friends. Like I wouldn't ever hang out with just them, if we are hanging out it's part of a group. Though you didn't list them I'm both a Christian (I go to church every Sunday) and I'm a Functionalist.
Werbie
2014-11-25 18:20:58 UTC
All these men are in love with their female friends and want to have sex with them.



Theyre lying when it says it doesn't ruin their relationship, they feel sexually attracted to them.



That's why when famous celebrities breakup, they usually get together with their "female friends".



These guys would do anything for their female friends. The horny liars.
?
2014-11-25 17:34:33 UTC
I had a lot of female friends, but most of them only talked to me when they were single and then forgot all about me once they got boyfriends :(
2014-11-25 10:05:27 UTC
44

Heterosexual

6

Yes and yes

Casual acquaintance. Deliberately held at that length due to the complications it can potentially create

Anti-Venomist
?
2014-11-25 10:47:47 UTC
Im 24, straight, good looking, interesting, and friendless :'(



and I have an essay to write! ! ! !
2014-11-25 21:22:23 UTC
Yes.



One. Her name is Sofi. We are friends with benefits without the sex (we havent had sex yet, which means we probably wont. An unspoken rule of the clubbing and dating scene is that if you havent slept with a girl within the first 3 to 7 days of meeting her, chances are you arent going to, not with out any huge constricting strings attached, anyway). Weve known each other for 2 months.



We do kiss and make out and grope each other and stuff.





1) 26 years old.



2) Estás maldito justo que soy! (in other words f1ck yeah I am straight)



3) One.



3B) I must add, that I dont do the friend thing with women. Im either f1cking them, trying to, or a combination thereof. But I dont do the friend thing with women anywhere but here online.



4) [You listed it as number 3 but I think you meant number 4]. Yes I have had a girlfriend. But I will be upfront with you, I havent had a girlfriend in a very long time. 5 years in may of next year. Our relationship was rocky. Traumatizing if you will. We faught all day and everyday for 5 months. And when we werent fighting we were f1cking each others brains out.

The sex was truly out of this world, but because I just couldnt handle the drama anymoreI ended the relationship.

These rocky yet fiery passionate relationships arent all that TV cracked them up to be. The drama really does take a toll on you.

Since her I havent been able to find another girlfriend. I dont know why. Either something in my brain is subconciously keeping me from finding another girlfriend, or the women in my city are just full of zhit and impossible. Really, I think its a combination of both.

I think this is a big reason as to why I am here in GS. I have nothing against women. But I do have a lot of complaints about them. Real complaints. Not some piddly non-issue bullshitoando that you see most of the GS men (children) complaining about here.



5) We are not close. I dont even talk to her outside of work. I prefer it that way. We do go out on a date once every week or 2, but really there aint a whole lot to talk about. To her, I am nothing more than a trophy that she brags about kissing, groping, or going on a date with. To me, she is just someone I kiss with, go on the occasional date with, and ultimately validate myself with.

Women are hard to come by in my city unless you are going to the University, in the military, or have a really good job, its like you dont exist, not to the high value/caliber women anyway. For that reason I truly do hate my city.



6) Yeah, Gender Studies. I dont talk a whole lot about why I am here or what I am a part of.



In conclusion:

"This would also mean that you have a platonic friendship and have no intention or desire to turn the friendship into a romantic relationship (and this is regardless of whether or not you find her physically attractive). You are just friends, and you enjoy her company for the friendship, and not as a covert means of eventually tricking her into becoming your girlfriend by feigning interest in her as a person. You are ACTUALLY interested in her as a person."

Yeah, that would mean I have no female friends. I just cant do the female friend thing. I love sex [despite how sexless my life has been the past 5 years], I would love to have sex with female friends but how to do that is beyond me, and I love seduction. And its pretty difficult for me to know a woman, especially an attractive one, without trying to at least try to get her to fall for me. The only women I reserve for platonic relationships are my mum, my sister if I ever meet her, and maybe my 4 cousins, maybe [they are older than me and only related to me through my grandma, so no I would have no compunction of sleeping with them if they were to throw themselves at me, in that way].



EDIT:

You know, something important that I ought to add is that just because I have a tendency to want to be intimate with my female friends (when and if I ever have any [again]) doesnt mean that I am not interested in them as a person. I had female friends in the past and we used to hang out and talk about life and relationships and school and all of that stuff.

The thing is, I am a person who values, cherishes, maybe even obsesses over physical intimacy. So, with the exception of every woman in my family except for my older girl cousins, I like intimacy with the women in my life.



Yesterday before submitting this I said that I was aware that this post speaks volumes about my character, I also said I didnt care if it did. Well, I do care. I care because I need the world to know that at the end of the day I, and men like me do not set out to intentionally have screwed up views on procreation, friendship, and relationships.

I and people like me are this way either because of mental illness, because of trauma, because of a bad childhood, or maybe perhaps a combination thereof.
2014-11-25 10:12:34 UTC
1. 22

2. duh.

3. female friends are pretty useless. I have a lot of female acquiantences. But I prefer hanging with guys. Im a mans man

3. Yeah I have had 2. But pretty average looking by my standards.. I am quite the catch in real life. Girls if not drawn in by my physique are drawn in by my charn. Im a really funny guy in real life.



Im starting to like this quote by my childhood idol: Felix Dennis "if it flies, floats or fornicates, rent it. its a lot cheaper in the long run"



4. I told you female friends are just friend zones. I have 3 sisters. Thats enough female company for me.

5. Im just a man navigating the world. I have been in PUA circles and might do it full time when I retire by 25. hopefully.
2014-11-28 23:36:10 UTC
No, thank God.
Tommy
2014-11-25 21:39:37 UTC
nop
2014-11-25 10:09:24 UTC
im a het girl andyeah i have female friends you idiot
King Khameleon
2014-11-26 12:23:14 UTC
1.-How old are you?

38



2.-Are you heterosexual?

Most definitely.



3.-How many female friends do you have?

I’ve always had a lot of female friends. In fact, most of my friends have always been female. That’s because we talk about various issues, I care about what they’re facing and I have the utmost respect for women as individuals & as human beings.



3) Do you now, or have you ever had, a girlfriend? If yes, did that impact your ability or desire to have female friends?

I’ve had girlfriends in the past…maybe around 4 in my life. I just left a real relationship last February. That relationship didn’t have an impact on my ability or desire to have female friends. My ex-girlfriend was secure, trusted me and we had a mutual respect for one another. She knew that I would NEVER cheat on her, nor was I a person who played games with women’s feelings. Once I chose someone, I made a commitment to be with her alone no matter who else expressed interest. Furthermore any female friend that I had, I told her about the person without leaving out anything except maybe for personal things that the person shared with me (ex: secrets, problems, etc). I was still interested in having female friends because women have different views and ideas that guys. I also don’t get why some guys are only interested in having sex with them. That suggests that you’re not interested in individual women & their differing personalities, but are interested simply in looks & getting into a person’s pants. Friendship is based on common interests, having fun together, listening to one another, trusting one another and respecting one another. Women are human beings too with issues, troubles and problems. I had friends that were girls who were very attractive. However relationships are not completely based on physical attraction. Furthermore, I don’t believe in trying to get with everyone who you might find to be attractive. I think a guy should go for women who are not only very attractive to him physically, but also mentally and personally. The woman who you love should be one who you think is the best woman that you’ve ever met. She should be someone who is a best friend who stands out among all other friends. I’m not saying that you should never ask someone that you find to be attractive personally or physically out on a date. However why can’t you be around women who are attractive without thinking about getting into their pants? That’s why there is so much cheating and distrust in relationships. What would keep a guy like that from leaving his girlfriend to be with someone else either on the side or through divorce / separation if looks is all it takes to attract him? Since my ex-girlfriend knew my positions and that she was number one in my life at that time, she had no issues trusting me around other women. I talk about various things with my female friends including: relationships, basketball, religion, politics, gender, race, class, books / stories, movies / TV shows, traditions, etc.



4) How close would you consider your female friends to you, if you have any?

In the past, I had many female friends who were close. Currently I have around three who I talk to about various things including our personal struggles, issues and ideas about life. They are like sisters to me. I would consider them to be my best friends.



5) Do you affiliate yourself with any aspect of the "manosphere", i.e. - do you consider yourself an MRA, MGTOW, PUA, PUAhate member, Red-piller, etc?



No. I’m not saying that guys don’t face negative stigmas, struggles, issues or problems in this society. However many of those groups are angry at women for personal experiences that they had, divorces, negative personal issues that they saw parents / relatives / friends go through with women, etc. Many of them also blame women randomly while avoiding the responsibility that guys might also have in those situations or relationships. Furthermore, many of them are not looking to improve the society but are simply existing in order to air grievances or to try to find radical women in order to turn back the clock and bring back a system that is oppressive to women. I’m not saying that there aren’t any bad women either. However I don’t think that they are all bad or organizations that try to work for their equality are all bad. Many of these male groups are also encouraging men not to get involved in relationships, to avoid relationships that have strong / secure women, are blaming women for high divorce rates / single motherhood, are acting as if all women make up allegations of sexual abuse / rape, etc. I’m not okay with that. I don’t think the rights of one group should come at the destruction of another. Men and women have to live together and marry in order for the human race to survive. What these groups are not willing to do is make sacrifices that they do NOT benefit from. That’s why I’m not interested. It’s all about self interest. These conflicts hurt both men, women and children (the silent victims). These actions that we’re taking are damaging more and more children and it’s getting worse every generation that we let it continue. What these groups don’t encourage is open communication with women. They don’t try to encourage men to be open with women about their feelings, struggles or ideas. They don’t push for movies or shows that show what good men are like and what women should look for in a guy. Furthermore, they don’t explain to young girls who don’t have a father what a good husband or boyfriend should be like or to young fatherless boys what a good husband or boyfriend should be doing. Many of them are doing exactly what they’re accusing feminists of doing: only focusing on male problems and bashing women or the groups that women are a part of. Here are some other things that I think these groups should be doing: a.) Working on ending high imprisonment rates for men. b.) Ending domestic violence in relationships. c.) Ending the love of guns that some men have. d.) Encouraging men to focus more on personality as opposed to just looks or sex. e.) Encouraging more boys to finish college. f.) Creating organizations that give scholarships to high achieving boys like the 100 Black men organizations do. g.) Creating more training programs for young boys. h.) Creating centers that encourage boys to love education by using things that they do enjoy (sports, art, music, etc) as bait to get them in as David Robinson and George Foreman have done. i.) Discouraging men from having sex constantly without any commitment. This will help women to identify and distinguish the truly good men from the bad ones. j.) Stand out and speak out so that it’s popular to be a good man as opposed to being a bad one. A lot of the social pressure in this society is to be a bad one or for people to love the bad / negative men. Why don’t they work to end these views? k.) End bullying in schools that destroy young boys.



I could go on, but I think you get my point. I do think men need help, but I don’t think we should be getting it by pushing women back down. There are other things that women are good at. And I’m not for any organization that considers the only good woman to be one that is a cook, housekeeper, babysitter and stay at home mother. Nothing is wrong with that, but women also have dreams as well. Are people saying that women’s entire lives should be built around children, sex, relationships with men and the home? If someone chooses that, then that’s fine. However not everyone wants to do that. That doesn’t make these women bad nor does it mean that they’re trying to be men. I think if men understand this and stop picking women based only on looks and sex appeal, stop ridiculing women’s issues and focus on real reform…then some of these issues would go away. Women should do the same on their side as well. All of these clashes are destroying our children’s security and self esteem. Parents and older men / women are the examples for children in this society. If they’re feuding then the child won’t have a good relationship with members of the opposite gender.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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