Why do women rationalize their attraction to tall guys and dislike of short guys, by using pos/neg adjectives?

Question

Some examples of women's rationalization process is strikingly obvious between "tall guys" (the one trait almost all women agree on wanting) and "short guys" (the one trait that almost all women prefer to avoid in a man, with a few exceptions).

In this article, "women" is used to describe the vast majority of 95% or so of women who find tall men more attractive. Obviously it does not speak for ALL WOMEN. And I do not want some sympathy, or personal attacks... this is an honest psychological question that requests an honest psychological answer as to why women do this.

When a mans short and outgoing, women say: "hes cocky! he has napoleon syndrome! Hes arrogant!"

When a mans tall and outgoing, women say: "hes so elegant! confident! smart! sophisticated! he really dominates a room!"

When a man is short and intelligent, women say: "hes so CRAFTY and SNEAKY."

When a man is tall and intelligent, women say: "hes so intelligent, educated, refined! what a catch!"

When a man is short and athletic, women say: "hes a chode who is overcompensating for his obvious feelings of inadequacy" (Women assume that just bcuz they view a man as unsexy, that he MUST feel inadequate and does not have a right to work out.)

I am a 6'2 guy myself and I have friends both tall and short (unlike women, guys really dont care about each others heights as long as we can keep up in sports, are cool and have mutual interests and stuff). I am pretty popular/confident and we go out to clubs alot. My shorter friends do alright simply because they are cool and some of them have good faces, but I HAVE noticed that by and large, me especially and my taller friends hook up with way more girls than my shorter friends.

To give some examples of what I've noticed:

When a short man approaches a girl, she will say stuff like: "Gotta go to the bathroom!" Or "why are you CREEPING on us?" (As if the guys attraction levels werent the problem, but as if hitting on a girl in a club at ALL was the problem...

But when a tall guy such as I go up to her ten seconds later she will smile and beam at me and totally open up her mind to me- and her legs later, for good measure.

When a man is tall and athletic, women say: "Hes a fine example of darwinism's finest! What an athlete! What a stud! What a sexy man!" the list goes on.

I think you get the idea. Why do women do this? Is it a subconscious process that allows themselves to disqualify shorter men and endear taller men to their dating pool, without feeling shallow and admitting their selection is based largely on height?

Or is height something women are comfortable admitting to themselves they want, but they only use these "selective adjectives" to make themselves seem more nice and fair and classy to other people?

Answer 1

I am usually the same height or shorter than my partners - which isn't surprising at 5'5" (which is closer to the average height for women than men).



I am polite, athletic and intelligent, and (some) women find these traits attractive. This seems to be completely independent of their own height... but probably *most* women do 'deselect' me as a partner because of my small physical size and other factors (also 115 lbs or less)...



Not an important distinction for me: At any time I only need a few friends and one (longer term) sexual partner to be completely satisfied, and I am confident & happy enough in my own right. My current partner is very happy with me, and 5" taller.

Answer 2

I don't think that people need to give excuses for who they are attracted to because we don't and cannot control who we are attracted to.



I believe that women are drawn to tall/taller men for three reasons:



1) Most importantly because they want to be accepted by society and thrive in their social sphere. Society has a self-reinforcing stereotype for tall men which is "Tall men are more confident because they can get more women and as a woman/person, I am attracted to confidence". Women are highly unlikely to date you if their friends don't like you. So, unfortunately, it's all about her being able to make her (female) friends and onlookers jealous and boost her ego and doing it ("fashionably") in high heels.



2) They want to feel small and protected. As a guy, I can't comprehend this. Nonetheless, I'm sure it's important.



3) They want tall offspring (if male) who will fit into the stereotype that they have been indoctrinated into.

Answer 3

Personally I don't think that when a short guy is smart, sporty or outgoing that he is sneaky or cocky and I think the same way about tall guys, although I do prefer tall guys. I think that women prefer tall guys because of the fact that men are meant to be bigger stronger and tall than women, if you look back to caveman times women would like the bigger stronger taller men as mates because they would offer more protection to them and so their offspring have a chance of becoming strong and tall as well.

Answer 4

Humans associate height with power, power to success, success to confidence. People are attracted to powerful, successful, confident mates. Also, to take from Eharmony:



"Let’s first start with the tendency for women to prefer taller men since this idea is a common expectation. With men being taller on average compared to women, you might expect that most women would end up with taller men just by chance. However, researchers found that of the 720 couples in their study, only one was comprised of a taller woman and a shorter man (Gillis & Avis, 1980). This was a far smaller percentage than expected by chance, showing that there is some selective preference for taller men.



It is also noted that height is a “masculine” characteristic. Taller men may be seen as more dominant and assertive (Melamed, 1992). In evolutionary terms, a larger man may have been able to provide more protection to their offspring, have greater genetic qualities to pass on to their future children, and thus may be awarded with greater social status. In line with this idea that height is an indicator of good evolutionary success, researchers found that taller men were more likely to have at least one biological child compared to shorter men (Pawlowski, Dunbar, & Lipowicz, 2000).



Culture also plays a big part in what we like and what is valued in society. Women may learn to value men who are rewarded in society. For example, taller men may be seen as more powerful and attractive, so women who are with taller men benefit by attaining a higher social status. In addition, if height signals physical dominance, it is likely that taller men make women feel smaller, protected, and perhaps more “feminine” as well. In line with this idea, research has found that women with more “traditional” gender role expectations were less willing to date shorter men (Salska, et al., 2008)."

Answer 5

You are wrong because if what you say is true than there would be no short people. Women would only mate (and only have mated) with tall men...producing ever taller children. I think that it is like everything, some people like them bigger and some people like them smaller...and some big men are...um...small...just saying!

Answer 6

I don't prefer very tall guys, but rather just a little taller than me.

Answer 7

Too bad I'm not short. I'm just this big 5'8 giant

Answer 8

Women don't like direct communication. They prefer to speak in colorful metaphors to temper their true feelings.

Answer 9

Why do I need to rationalize or even explain myself at all? I just like tall guys. I dont know what else to say. I'm tired of guys acting like I'm the bad guy for not being attracted to them or going so far as to call me racist even (lol). Do I need to get graphic and say flat out you dont make me wet dude and I feel zero excitement?

Answer 10

I dont dislike short men, my ex fiancée was only 5'5"(still taller then me, but short for a guy) my boyfriend now is 6'2", but I don't only date tall men.

Answer 11

the same way men rationalize their attraction to shorter girls rather then taller girls

Answer 12

the same reason they lie when they say size isn't important, because they can.