Well she isn't any different than the "homophobes" now is she? She discriminates against people for not being homophiles. She seems to feel that it is OK to discriminate and ostracize others for not following her self-styled moral code, because she believes that if they don't love homosexuality and everything they do then it makes the "homophobes" fair game. This is typical of "tolerance and diversity" religion, that took what they wanted out of Christianity, through aside any notion of "God" and then got it completely wrong just like the Christians. I see her homophilic behavior a lot nowadays in the young who have been indoctrinated in the tolerance cult. So you say she has dated actual homophobes, (line 1 of examples), those who actually are tolerant, (2), and Christians who act the same way as her but their self-styled moral code is the opposite of the "tolerance" homophiles, while both groups have the same ideal of tolerance and diversity, but are unable to live by it i.e., Christianity and Tolerism both preach the same thing, but no one lives by their moral code.
It sounds like she is basically looking for a gay man that happens to want to have sex with women. She is never going to be happy, and she has feminism and the GLBT lobbies to thank for it. There is also a huge difference between being gay and being black or Jewish. You are born a certain race, and I will stop there since I don't want to raise the ire of the homophiles. Tolerance means sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own. So your friend is intolerant of those that don't approve of the acts that homosexuals partake in. She is as much of a hypocrite as the Christians.
There are straight men who are gay-friendly, but from what I've seen they still are uncomfortable with what their gay friends do. I've lived in NYC, a very gay place, and I know a large number of gays, and bi's. You know that bi's are really homophobic by your definition--they act and talk straight around straights, but when gays are around also they turn into flamers. Yes gays get treated terribly, and if by a little homophobic, you mean don't like the idea of getting f'd in the a, then yes all straight men are "homophobic."
Now don't get me wrong, I actually am for gay rights. I don't think they need or deserve special privileges, but they don't deserve to be treated with derision either. Your friend needs to stop being such a bigot, and realize that tolerance and total acceptance are two different things. Live and let live, if a man doesn't approve of homosexuality, it doesn't mean he hates or fears them either.
@the person who misrepresented the "homophobe" study. That study was on 64 men, with only half of them considering themselves homophobic. Not much of a sample size, huh? In other words the same size is so small as to make the study invalid. Also, the researchers point out that the increase in penile circumference doesn't definitively point towards latent homosexuality. They stated that anxiety could have caused that effect and not actual stimulation. I don't care either way, but let's try not to misrepresent reality here.