Question:
Why is being a black woman a curse?
2014-08-24 11:21:53 UTC
Before you say I’m “race baiting” I’m really not. I just want an honest discussion/opinion. Growing up my parents never expressed any prejudice or racist attitudes. Some white but mostly Hispanic kids I had the “pleasure” of growing up with expressed the prejudice attitudes I learned. Now that I’m older my mother does say blatantly ignorant things, but it’s not always race-related—it’s just ignorance in general. I have unfortunately come on this site for years where black men and other traces always express negative opinions of black women and how unattractive they are. It’s also annoying to be dismissed for “whining” or “playing the race card” when race might be part of the equation. I do not think all black people are the same, just like I don’t think white, Asian or Hispanic people are all the same. Also it’s annoying when blacks are portrayed as being thieves and uneducated and chastised for speaking Ebonics yet when Wall Street steals an amount from every paycheck and rednecks speak it’s okay.
It’s not like I’m uneducated. I speak better than the average white, black, Asian or Hispanic person. I attended and Ivy League school, my brother does now, and so did my father. Also, blacks that speak well and care about education are not an anomaly—I have met many. There are large pockets of middle and upper class blacks in certain areas. If you’re from Idaho (for instance), you have no exposure to this breed of blacks, which just perpetuates the ignorant perceptions.
Twenty answers:
?
2014-08-24 13:53:54 UTC
Its not a curse its something Caucasians created early on when slavery started so they can be seen as superior. Its called psychological slavery. The media has their own agenda. They choose the stories they want the world the see and unfortunately they choose to show the worst of our race. If you keep thinking that you are inferior you are. If you think that you're not you're not. Its all a big game on who's better than who. The truth is African Americans are obviously smart. The history books that we studied throughout our childhood were all one sided to make the white man look superior. Black people have done many great things for America and before we were made slaves. Right now black people as a whole are broken mentally and are hating on each other. You have to look at America and think for yourself. Its all a lie and you need to educate yourself on what reality is.
?
2014-08-24 11:51:17 UTC
"Why is being a black woman a curse?"



Put simply...because YOU believe it is. I mean if you spoke to Condoleezza Rice or Oprah Winfrey, would they buy that being a black woman is a curse? Would Michelle Obama? Beyoncé?



I'm sure they all are familiar with instances of prejudice that they faced in their lifetimes, but that doesn't make being a black woman a curse...it makes meeting bigoted people a curse.



"Also it’s annoying when blacks are portrayed as being thieves and uneducated and chastised for speaking Ebonics yet when Wall Street steals an amount from every paycheck and rednecks speak it’s okay."



You know what annoys me? Not that people take note of the number of black Americans who are negatively portrayed or stopped by/incarcerated/killed by police officers. It's that those mostly liberal commentators seem to approach the issue as if it's a constant comparison.



Don't get me wrong...I'm all for police investigating people who are believed to have committed a crime...and all for police arresting people REGARDLESS of their race if they are found to have committed a crime. However the problem of approaching this matter as if comparisons are the way to go...is that it doesn't solve the greater problem of police abuses against the people...it suggests that if more whites were targeted and fewer blacks were, somehow that would solve the issue...and of course it really wouldn't!



As for whites who "speak redneck," I think you're so focused on attitudes towards blacks who speak Ebonics that you don't see how whites can be stereotyped negatively if they're considered "redneck." I mean a couple of the most enduring stereotypes of rural, conservative whites is they are all inbred racists, and they have no teeth.



Picture Cletus and Brandine on "The Simpsons"- they are depicted as dirt poor, dumb, superstitious...he is usually has only about three teeth, their children are often deformed, and she has identified herself as both his wife AND his Mother.



Whites in the southern states of the USA are often depicted as gun toting, bible thumping racists and homophobes who keep their Klan outfit next to their bible clothes...even though most of the large suburban areas of the southern states tend to be as progressive as the large suburban areas of the Northern and Western USA.



Sadly when the approach to addressing prejudice is with more prejudice, the end results will invariably be underwhelming.
2016-04-05 10:35:50 UTC
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I'm of complete black heritage. I go swimming without a cap and I have extremely thick and hard to handle hair. Though some of my cousins go swimming with caps on. I always see black people out swimming so maybe it's just the area that you live in. Anyway, the purpose of swimming has nothing to do with your hair, so why stress so much about it. There's no reason for you to hate you're skin color and where your family cam from because of it. I'm proud to be black and so should you. Don't make things harder for yourself than it actually is. Embrace it. If you can't do that than just go bald. You're being ridiculous and I'm a 14 year old telling you this.
CW
2014-08-24 11:31:11 UTC
Huh? That makes no sense. Not to sound weird or anything but black women have the hottest booties. Ask any guy and he'll say the same.

Also thank the Lord that you're not a guy. You can get love and sex anytime you want. Us men have to do all kinds of things to get any. We have to work our butts off, while being funny, interesting, tough, and good-looking at the same time. And even if we have these things, an ugly-duckling with unbelievable charm will come along and take our girls from us. Believe me, when it comes to love, women have it far easier.
Max M
2014-09-21 05:34:25 UTC
It isn't. I'm a black girl and I've had lots of men from different races ask me out. My current boyfriend is a tall and handsome black man with a nice strong body, good degree and a kind heart. The Internet wants you to believe that black girls are unwanted and unloved etc. all that B.S. I used to buy into that myth years ago. Then I started going out more and spending less time on the computer and I realised it was all false.



Close your computer. It isn't the real world.
Cleveland
2014-08-24 11:37:27 UTC
I'm a black female who graduated from a "Baby Ivy League" so I understand part of what you're saying, but the internet is FULL of retarded people who blow every racial thing out of proportion. I love being a black woman and I know the idiots exist, but in ky daily life they don't. People who sit online (because that's really only where I see all of the insults towards us) saying this stuff WANT you to walk around in real life feeling bad or thinking about it. Don't give them that satisfaction. I date perfectly fine, I prefer and date Hispanic men. I respect them and their culture and the guys I meet love me. I say, personally my advice, if you want to avoid being around people who are negative then don't associate much with african American males, especially those who love rap music because the african American culture is HORRIBLE towards women and especially black women. Distance yourself from it, because it will get you nowhere at all. The black American culture is what hurts black women. Black women need to stop thinking they can sit around and fix it or coddle black men when black men show us so muh disrespect.



Also, and I don't mean this in a racist way, but don't really go for white guys either. American culture is the problem, if you don't want to have to think about race so much then date non white non african American guys. You'll be FINE. Respect their cultures and families and they're great. :)
2014-08-24 12:15:52 UTC
It's your outlook.





There is a real sub-culture amongst black people in western cultures of self victimisation, assuming your life is harder because your black, look for racism hard, seeing it everywhere and in everything.



Actually it's mainly white people protesting at occupy wallstreet and who talk about the banksters running the US into the ground.



If you really did go to an Ivy League School you'd realise that you're not cursed simply because you're black, it's hard to get a decent education in the US school system now they just teach nonsense.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DUyOg49gHw



7.25 in ^
Latin Techie
2014-08-24 11:31:55 UTC
i think thats just the general perception in the USA but I do not and did not see that in other countries that I have been to in the world.



It is a very very unfair lable given that I know and have knwon some incredibly beautiful, very intelligent, educated black women from countries in Latin America, West Africa, the Caribbean adn i just know that the perceptions in the USA have no real place inthe rest of the world, blackmenwho denigrate black women also denigrate and insult their black mothers who birthed them into the word, these types of black men are deranged and totally out of line.
?
2014-08-24 13:52:42 UTC
It isn't fair but you may be strong and become stronger because of it? Hopefully you encounter enough people who respect you as you are, so that you don't become too hardened by it. Sometimes a curse can be a blessing in disguise and sometimes its just a curse. Belief in one's self may be what dictates which course it takes.
2014-08-24 11:56:02 UTC
it isnt, they only make it one by their behavior and you shouldnt deny that, because when you do, things will not become better. it is not like blacks were all angels, right? there is a lot of black racists who do alot of black racist crimes against whites and other non-blacks. that isnt anything else than a cur se and that needs to stop. of couse the racism against blacks needs to stop too, its not ok when someone gets discrimnated or even beaten and murdered only for beeing to black or to white.



i know racist like black panthers and kkk will freak out when someone says this but that is my balanced opinion and i think it a righteous opinion.
?
2014-08-24 12:00:54 UTC
......social double jeopardy. Black women have to deal with racism and sexism. I think that the most beautiful race of women are African American and Eastern Indian.
Deino
2014-08-24 11:24:21 UTC
tl;dr



It isn't a curse.

But there is a reasonable consideration that being both black and female means you get hit by the double whammy: racism and sexism.
2014-08-24 15:50:38 UTC
It's not a curse. I generally find women of color (Of all sorts) to be more attractive than Euro women.
Serene E
2014-08-24 11:32:13 UTC
It has nothing to o with race and everything to do with stereotypes, being judgmental and being a bigot and a bully.

As kids will tell you, bullies will bully for anything and everything - same with adults.
?
2014-08-24 12:01:39 UTC
Some assholes like generalizing people, they want to hurt you, just ignore them and try to find respectable guys
?
2014-08-24 11:56:08 UTC
We live in a white dominated country (America), which means that whites are the highest populated, so therefore they control all the powerful institutions, including mainstream media. Since they have so much control over everything, they have the power to discriminate and be racist not just socially, but institutionally and politically. They control mainstream media (there are more whites in hollywood than any other race) which explains why whites are MOSTLY shown as superheros, saviors, good people, innocent, etc while minorities, especially black minorities are always shown as "thiefs" "crooks" "thugs" etc. Mexicans are mostly shown as dirty short people who cant speak proper english. Asians are shown as dorky people with no friends. Although all people of color are shown negatively (well mostly all), I do believe that blacks are shown worse.



Please dont feel like being a black woman is a curse because its not. Black women are beautiful, especially the brown complected ones, and this is coming from a light skinned chick. Black women are strong, independent, and like Jarrod said, we have the perfect bodies. Hell, these people on this site constantly ask questions like "why do black women have the nicest bodies" or "why do black women have full lips and big butts" just google those questions, and youll see that MILLIONS of them were asked on this site and other sites as well. Please dont let the media brainwash you into think black men arent attracted to us, thats not true. Sure there are some black men that dont prefer their race (there are many men that dont prefer their race, not just some of the guys in our race), but there are many more who do. And although the media makes it seems like black men dont desire black women, they do. The media tend to put more hype and publicity towards the few black men that date whites and non black women more than than the famous black men that do, and trust me there are more black men in hollywood married to black women than other women. Just like every race of men, black men tend to be more attracted to the women in their own race. also, please dont think all because a black man is dating a white women that he doesnt like the women in his own race. Unlike black women, black men are just more open to interracial dating, and if they happen to fall inlove or like someone who isnt black, they are going to be with them, doesnt mean they desire black women any less. Do not let the media, which is controlled by whites, bring you down. Im sure you are a strong beautiful black queen :) black women are also the most enrolled in college

http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2013/06/college-enrollment-for-black-women-hits-record-high/



This is an interesting article on how black women are portrayed in white american media

http://yoknyamdabale.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/white-controlled-media-portrays-black-african-women-in-a-negative-light-in-order-to-uplift-white-women-white-womens-heaven-is-black-womens-hell/



These are also some good articles on white privilege

http://feministfilm.tumblr.com/post/6608112156/a-brief-list-and-analysis-of-white-savior-films



http://occupywallstreet.net/story/explaining-white-privilege-broke-white-person





And this woman's post made some great points, and had some good answers when it comes to the media generated stereotype of black men not liking black women

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20130922125433AAHnIyN
2014-08-24 11:43:25 UTC
It has to do with facial features. They do not fave pretty faces or hair.
2014-08-24 11:25:40 UTC
who cares, you can go to any club, spread your legs and guys will be willing to do the deed.



Honestly though Hispanic Asian white women look way better IMO. Its the hair and fair features for me.
2014-09-11 17:06:51 UTC
cool cool
Diana M
2014-09-19 16:29:06 UTC
I have a couple of questions for you. How old are you? What part of the US are you from? Who are you and what do you really want out of life? Do you have a job/career in mind? I know this is going to be embarrassing coming from a mixed race woman who considers herself Asian African and European although people and the media still think I'm Latina because I'm Puerto-Rican and Columbian. I'll tell you this now. EVERY woman has a few horror stories of being bullied by their own men or men outside their race/culture. I'll tell you right now and I'm being honest with you. I grew up in Brooklyn NY and Waterbury County CT and I got bullied from racist and sexist Asians, Blacks, Whites even most heart breaking of all other Latinos mostly Puerto-Ricans. Back in the day, people didn't know what to make of a cute mixed girl. OMG were people just jealous because I have long straight black hair, big brown eyes, a real geek who wanted to do well in school, was very kind and respectful even when I know those same schmucks didn't deserve it, didn't embrace hip hop culture too much, bit of an ugly duckling and yeah I was very anti social because I had a very hard time fitting in. I also had to deal with being neglected because my family and I were struggling with poverty had a hard time making ends meet and sometimes smacked around at home if I ever talked back to my elders. In retrospect every time I had to put up with a bully they were ALWAYS BUTT UGLY and needed to compensate by being arrogant assholes to impress the few around them. It was EXTREMELY RARE for me to get bullied by a gorgeous person. Don't worry I got back at those idiot Chinese, Puerto-Ricans, Blacks, and ugly white haters by hooking up with a cute nerdy yet a sweetheart Asian guy whos Japanese, Vietemese and Filipino and my now wonderful all American white guy with blond hair and blue eyes whos the kindest and handsomest person I've ever met. By doing well in school and in my personal life I realized success is the best revenge. Chances are its your environment and what values/morals the bullies are raised with. Nowadays I realize its just not right to bring a child into this world because the more advanced in technology we get the more cruel the bullies are getting. The sociopaths and the psychopaths are learning that behavior somewhere.



Now that I lectured you how evil in general could be learned. Let me move on the being a minority in America issue. Its not only Blacks who can be abusive to their own women because of an inferiority complex. Asian and Hispanic men can suffer from that too. I remember my dad always referring to all black men as "*******" knowing he has some percentage of ****** in him. OMG my mom would make him suffer by having affairs with black men. Not only was he abusive if she wasn't up to par but I'm sure somewhere along the line she was disgusted with him being such a racist/self racist. I'm sure my dad grew up feeling ashamed of being Puerto-Rican and having some African blood in him back in the 60s. Who knows what my mom saw back in her mother country but I remember her being more kind and down to Earth to everyone she met regardless of status, color, culture, race etc . Who know what my parents grow up seeing with their own eyes in NY and their place of origin back in the 60s? Asians OMG that's one racial group with soooooo many full of so much self loathing they cant be around Hispanics KNOWING many of us have inherent features similar to them like pale to dark skin, black hair, etc . Holy **** I laugh my *** off hearing about Asians purchasing cosmetic surgeries and skin lightening beauty products just to look more European but sometimes they come out looking like the stereotypical Hispanic Mexican or Spaniard. There are times I feel sorry for them because they don't have the confidence like many Blacks and Hispanics to rebel against their parents and more importantly what whites who run Hollywood consider beautiful. Then theres those shitty values they have to impose on their kids and everyone else who doesn't agree with them. The idea that the culture is male dominated the men are sexist, bitchy, perverts, always need a white woman on the side, a woman's place is in the home not in the office, a woman should not have an opinion otherwise she should get smacked, mommy and daddy and everyone else in the family have to come 1st etc. Ever notice that a few Mexican and Asian guys are really short so they compensate by being assholes because they need to feel manly because they know they have to work much harder to compete with taller men esp those who are white and black? Why some Asian and Hispanic guys are always thrilled they nailed a pretty white woman esp a blonde? The more naïve and younger she is the more they can get away with ****. Ever wonder why a few come off as very uneducated so much that they talk out their asses? I can understand why its extremely rare for me to be waited on by either one of them UNLESS theyre a waiter because yes a few of them have some shitty attitudes and not all of them know how to treat or even talk to a lady. Same thing for a few black guys. I got a lot of stories of how hard it is to be an Asian guy or Hispanic guy and yes a black guy in US mainstream society. Why do you think Asian women and Hispanic women and even black women are encouraged to go for white guys? Maybe like myself and this gorgeous Asian girlfriend of mine we are just sick of their retarded *** sexist uneducated backwards thinking ****. Seeing some play where a bunch of hot white guys dancing and singing on stage did wonders helping us forget about them. Sweetheart its minority woman issue every woman of color even pretty light skinned types deal with everyday. As long as you don't always go for looks, focus on what makes you happy, focus on the right schooling, be a VERY good judge of character and associate yourself with those who share your values, goals, interests and outlook on life and more importantly treat you like the love and respect you know you deserve then you should be ok. Dont worry your Prince Charming is out there just have faith and stay positive because not all guys think all black women are ugly and make horrible mates. I'm considered a very pretty Latina and even I get dismissed by the occasional hot white, Latino, Black or Asian guy.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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