Question:
Why do a lot of woman have a problem submitting to a man now days?
T-Man
2007-04-09 07:40:50 UTC
Not trying to be offensive. Just asking
Nineteen answers:
anonymous
2007-04-09 07:52:34 UTC
because you are a troll and I am getting my two points
SmartAlex
2007-04-10 00:18:34 UTC
They don't ACTIVELY submit because the phrase is offensive. It gives them power to choose, but then you take it away by telling them they have to choose to submit.



Actually, submission as a word, especially used in this context is a contradiction. It implies an act, like a choice. Choosing is contrary to submission. Submission the way you understand it involves a choice. Submissive people don't choose to submit. Truly submissive people RE-act. They don't act. They aren't PRO-active. They are RE-active. They aren't given charge. They don't make decisions. They go with the decisions that other people make.



Dominant people are PRO-active. They TAKE charge.



In general though, Women ARE more receptive than men are. Women are generally more go-with-the-flow types, just not in all areas. In many areas women are truly pro-active, especially today.



I would have to say that this is because women are becoming much much more independent because the men in their lives aren't stepping up and taking charge. You might have found that women don't take charge unless someone else doesn't do it, or if they do it badly. It seems to be a trend with the women in my life at least. With practice comes more confidence. So women are becoming VERY adept at taking charge.



That's why I try to take charge more often, especially with a receptive woman. I don't mean dominate. I don't make the decisions myself. I mean as the person in charge I am the coordinator between all interested parties. Everybody has their say and I organize it, and as the person who has taken charge, I get an extra vote if it comes down to a tie. LOL Just kidding. Truly wise people can tell when their decision is the wrong one for the group, and I do try to use wisdom.



Anyway, to answer your question, you are assuming that women have the power to CHOOSE to submit. You can't have power AND submit. There is actually no such power to choose to submit. Anyone that has a choice will almost always choose to dominate.



Some women do choose to change their ways though. If they have been particularly bossy and they see how their attitude is splitting up their marriage, they might tone it down a bit and let the husband win every once in awhile. But is she really submitting? No. She's picking her battles. She's still in charge. She gets to decide when to "submit" and when not to. That's not submitting, that's picking your battles.
raynne_iceni
2007-04-09 18:12:49 UTC
Why should I ever submit to anyone, a man or otherwise? One should never do anything out of submission. If something is done because I've been asked to do so, it's out of mutual respect.
subodh
2007-04-09 15:35:37 UTC
Any self respecting person would have problem submitting oneself to whome you do not trust or respect. The same goes for relationship between teachers and pupals. Basically now a days we do not have enough people of a strature one would like to be submitting to.
rip_2_4_u
2007-04-09 18:48:09 UTC
You're assuming that women had no problem "submitting" to a man in the past-they always have hon. Wouldn't you?
Giggly Giraffe
2007-04-09 15:02:28 UTC
Providing the man was worthy of me submitting to (leader, kind, patient, not jealous or boastful, doesn't take pleasure in wrong doings, but rejoices in truth, always ready to forgive and willing to stay the course for the long haul)... I actually enjoy spoiling GOOD men; {additional provision ... they need to sing & dance & laugh}.
ohioan_femme
2007-04-09 19:40:54 UTC
Because I realize that everytime I let them make decisions or do anything, they always screw things up. I guess that's what happens when some people think by using that thing between their legs. This is not meant to be offensive either.
Cristy
2007-04-09 18:58:38 UTC
Most women aren't into s & m, now that we have a choice in the matter. Our higher access to education has lead to an increased preference for autonomy. Subordination is SO 1850!!
M B
2007-04-09 15:56:06 UTC
I think most women just want to have an equal say in how things are run inside the relationship as well as the house....
transitangst
2007-04-09 14:59:05 UTC
What carrie said.....same reason men have a problem submitting to women.
ecogeek4ever
2007-04-09 14:57:09 UTC
Why would I submit myself to a man, just because he is a man? I was given my own brain and my own moral conscience so I will use them.
wendy g
2007-04-09 19:02:03 UTC
Why would I "submit"? Just asking.
anonymous
2007-04-09 14:52:55 UTC
Same reason men have a problem submitting to a woman.



We are all autonomous human beings and have the right to be treated as such.
Lindsey H
2007-04-09 15:09:01 UTC
Because women want to be respected for their ideas and wants in a relationship, just like men do. If a man wants to have sex, yet the woman is simply just not in the mood, is it really right for her to give in to her man's wants every time, simply because he wants her to? where is the respect? How can the man actually say that he enjoys sex when he knows in reality that his wife is only doing it to please him? Isn't it much more enjoyable when both parties are in agreeance, and the wanting is there for both of them? The same thing goes for a man. If the woman is wanting sex, and he is not in the mood, why should he have to force himself to be? I'm not offended, just simply stating my beleifs. It might be nice in the beginning for a man to get his will all the time in the house, but eventually he is going to want a woman who knows herself and is confident in herself, and knows how to say no once in awhile. Now of course, in a relationship, both parties need to recognize each others needs,and come to an agreeance where both can be happy. That is not submission, it is compromising, and is essential to a good relationship. It makes the relationship very healthy. Whereas with submission, one is happy and the other is not, and is left feeling forced to do things to keep the happiness of the home. And in reality, the happiness of the home cannot be kept if the woman does not truly know herself and her own wants, and is not truly happy herself. In the beginning of my marriage, we were both very religious, and I beleived that the happiness of the home could only be brought about by my submissiveness to my husband. We had many disagreements, but his word was always the final one, because I always gave in because of my beleifs. The biggest argument we had was over birth control. My husband beleived that it was not natural, and was going against the natural order of what God intended for us. I was scared to death, because when we were married, I had a son and he had 2 children, so we started out with three in the beginning. I was only 21, and scared to death at the thought of how many children we would have. I love kids, but I wanted to be able to spend enough one on one time with them, which is hard to do with alot of kids. Well, I gave into his wishes, because I beleived this to be what a woman was supposed to do. But I was miserable. Every time we had sex, I could not enjoy it, because the thought was always there"What if I get pregnant again?" We ended up having 2 children back to back together. Since then, we have come out of those beleifs. And it is such a releif. I am happy with the amount of children we have at the moment, and I am able to enjoy them all. If we were to have stayed in those beleifs, I would still be miserable, feeling like I did not have a say in my own happiness at all. These are just my thoughts. I'm not into the feminist movement and all that, I just beleive that women are humans, too, with their own desires and wants and needs. Shouldn't they be respected as well for being an individual? Shouldn't they have the right to pursue their dreams, and to say no when something is not going to bring them joy? We are all going through our lives searching for joy, why should women be deprived of that by having to be submissive to someone else's beleifs on what is best for them? No one knows what is best for the individual better than the individual themselves. Now if you are happy being submissive, that is great. I'm just saying the reason why alot of women are stepping out of that. Whatever makes you the happiest is the right choice for the individual.
Laela (Layla)
2007-04-09 16:34:46 UTC
I change my mind (all those thumbs down have nothing to do with it) I'm obedent, I'm more than willing; yet, if my man told me to have sex with someone else ( he wouldn't he has a high regard for me); saying he did; I would refuse; meaning if I did, I'd have no respect for him and, or myself. I would also have a very loose set of morals, let it anger him I'm not doing it! Being obedient means to be endowed with brains, morals and respect. I know women who are submissive; they all walk on the proverbial eggshells and have one common factor they're all scared to death of their husbands. I do not fear any man and or my husband, so I simply refuse to submit myself. I take it meaning (read both the bible and quran) as meaning when it says women must submit themselves on to their husbands as being at the ready to listen and to pay heed to his advice, not to be submissive to the points I have described above. That's a bunch of crap!.
Rio Madeira
2007-04-09 16:23:17 UTC
Because we don't want to. We want to be equal to men, and we want them to respect that.
anonymous
2007-04-09 16:03:36 UTC
Submission is very misunderstood nowadays, in large part due to the feminist movement. Women in the past understood the concept of being submissive. Women today have to be re-taught. Many women would like to be submissive if they hadn't been taught to be afraid of it. They would love to be cherished and protected by their men. They just don't know how to go about it or they are afraid to try.



Submission does not mean losing yourself or never voicing an opinion. And it does not mean loss of power. I can say right now I have alot more sway over my husband's decisions than I ever did when I was behaving like a feminist.
anonymous
2007-04-09 14:46:16 UTC
feminist movement has not read their bibles letting them know man is head of the house, thats the way god created us
anonymous
2007-04-09 14:47:27 UTC
lack of christian values or possibly the man doesn't love his wife as christ loved the church?


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