Males - Do You Understand The Concept of Closure?

Question

Do guys understand the concept of "closure"? I define it as that road block, the white whale that stands in the way of a person moving on. It can come in many shapes and forms.

For example: Two years and two days ago (believe it or not, this did happen on Wed. Dec. 27, 2006) I was at the mall with my BF and nephew. Lately I had been thinking about my new relationship and the guy I was obsessed with in high school. I was thinkng about whether I had gotten over my obsession and moved on to the incredible man I had at the time. We saw him at the mall that day and it was very awkward for me. After we left the mall, we stopped for gas and they both filled the car. I sat in the car thinking of the terrible and humiliating incidents between me and the guy from school. Then I looked at my BF through the window and he stuck his tongue out at me. I couldn't think of nothing but good out of him, and he made me the happiest I was in a long time. That's where I figured out I finally got over my obsession after 8 years and moved onto something better.

But the men I know don't understand why closure is so important, especially my BF. He doesn't understand that if I don't get closure I'll be haunted by the same thing for the longest. If I never got the closure I did, I'd probably still be sitting at my computer for 20 hours a day trying to get in touch with that guy. I did that for a year before I moved with my sister and I managed to get his cell number, email address, family member names, and mother's address. It may sound terrible but this is exactly why having closure is very important. I'm not trying to convince my BF that he should get closure for things like I do, but I can't convince him how important it is. I already told him about this too.

Answer 1

Closure was when my ex boyfriend dumped me by text so i shagged his best mate. It made me feel better lol

Answer 2

Well, that is not exactly closure - more like figuring out how to cope with a bad happening.

Closure is about finding out how something ends - not about how to end your feelings. Coping is how we control our feelings. And ending a relationship can require the stages of grief - but if you remain in the denial stage of grief, you can't move on until you leave it. Disappointment, anger, pain - all of these can cause grief. You need to face the situation first. So you were stalking that guy because you could not get past the denial that a relationship with him had been lost for good. The writing was already on the wall, you just refused to read it. We all do this from time to time. As a matter of fact, forgiving yourself and him are all part of the process that many people neglect. You can hate someone with a passion, but in order to really move on, you need to let them be a normal person - you need to see how in their view of the world whatever they did to you seemed reasonable to them at the time, rather than the source of intense pain it resulted in for you. All complex things that take time. Letting go in a stalking situation means realizing that trying to continue the relationship was not logical - you need to forgive yourself for that as well as forgiving him for not being the man you wanted him to be - the man for you. So as they say in "Raiders Search for the Grail"...you chose unwisely, but we all do that now and then. Be happy he did not try to make it all work with you for several years and scar both of you permanently! Sometimes what did not happen is the best you can see from a relationship that did not work out.

Answer 3

Yeah. Closure is actual, yet what impact it has on a guy or woman & their suffering is dependant on the instant situations & how the guy feels. Closure, or the progression we draw close closure on could come formerly a guy or woman is waiting for it. This journey could in no way come, forcing a guy or woman to create closure internally. sometimes, closure is a funeral, or this is seeing your ex with a sparkling companion. this is in easy terms a popularity we supply a turning factor is all. this is via no ability absolute. It has helped me via giving me a fact examine that it's time to bypass forward, waiting or no longer.

Answer 4

I feel bad for you, you wrote two whole paragraphs about "closure", when no-one can relate to this silly personal complaint. Why use idiotic words like closure when 'moving on' and 'getting over it' say the same thing?



Leave people alone to deal with things in their own way.

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like you are over this guy at all, but sure you can feel closure if you want. I think that your definition was rushed and you didn't elaborate that it includes getting past this whale.



Anyways I get over things all the time, I don't label it as anything in particular I just live and don't over complicate things.

Answer 6

You want closure from some guy you were crushing on? Move on. Even though this guy you were "obsessed with" has no clue about you, you are still obsessed. I would suggest counseling. It would be one thing if you had recently broken up...but high school?

Answer 7

My understanding that in most closures, apposition of tissues is critical whilst at the same time, you simply can't make your closures/sutures too tight otherwise the there will be ischaemic necrosis.



Irrespective of the closure materials you choose, three distinct phases have been characterized:



-Inflammation

-Tissue formation

-Tissue remodeling.

Answer 8

Just because a man can more easily move on and not get hung up on things doesn't mean we don't understand what closure is.

Answer 9

The definition is not closure. It is the opposite of closure.

Answer 10

Why are you directing it towards us?

Answer 11

"Closure" is me zipping my pants up AFTER sex.