I have a daughter; she's 12. We, both professionals, have chosen to live relatively simply on a small farm. We chose this lifestyle to get away from the shallow materialism and the focus on shopping and premature dating that we saw among so many middle and upper-middle-class girls.
We homeschool our daughter and try to balance practical learning/play with academic work. We try to have a "lifestyle of learning." We make church and wisdom studies a priority so that hopefully she'll have the foundation to make good life-decisions, and so that she'll come to not only know Jesus as Savior, but also understand theology and Christian history. We also do various types of charity-work so that she'll keep perspective about "needs" and "wants." I always tell her that no matter what, you always can help others, even if it's only with a smile. We try to associate with people who share our values of simplicity and morality., although she meets many different types of people. We let her experiment with crafts and activities, and encourage her to learn cooking, sewing, and other skills. While we feel that women have an important role to play in the home, our daughter learns all kinds of things: how to shoot, how to build things, how to paint, how to plant a garden,how to drive a horse-cart and the farm-golf-cart (she's not tall enough yet to reach the pedals on the tractor, although she has driven the lawn mower a few times.) I made her a database and an Excel spreadsheet years ago so that she could play with them; now she keeps lists of her virtual "vet clinic" on them; she's also pretty good at graphic layout on the computer. Knowing how to do different things gives you confidence. When she's older, I'm sure she'll learn how to change a tire, maybe replace the belt on a lawn-mower, and do other tasks. She'll also work at her Dad's office for a while to learn how to interact with the public, dress for a job, and do basic clerical work. Before she leaves home, God willing, she'll have a firm grounding in how to make a budget, how to balance a checkbook, how to fill out a simple tax form, etc. These are all critical skills, and a child feels a good sort of pride when he or she is able to say, "Mom, the toilet was running, and I fixed it," or "Mom, here's a new recipe I tried. Taste it."
We chose to homeschool for various reasons, one of which was that we saw so many middle-school and high school kids who were honestly bratty, insubordinate, sullen, prematurely sexualized, peer-driven, poorly prepared for life, or out of control. It grieved me that the parents often rejoiced when school started in the fall because the parents really didn't want to be with their kids. What message is THAT for a child? Homeschooling isn't a cure-all, but you know the messages the child is receiving, and the child realizes that Mom and Dad aren't complete imbeciles. After all, Mom and Dad manage to do things such as get a mortgage, pay taxes, and generally keep a room over your head. So often when kids interact only with other kids their same age, with little adult input, the kids begin to talk "big" and, without reason, think that somehow they're smarter than everyone else and can solve all the world's problems. Young people, especially middle-school and teens, need to frequently be around adults who REALLY are masters in their fields and who converse at an elevated level. This teaches both humility AND broadens the young person's world. The young person may realize that there are studies and careers out there of which they've never known or considered. (i.e. "That is Ravi Zacharias, the famous Christian apologist from India. He graduated from Cambridge, in England, and he talks with world leaders.")
Would I raise every child like this? Yes and no. Every child needs the twin foundations of love and discipline. They also need the foundations of self-worth (because each is created Imago Dei; in the image of God) AND yet realize that their ACTIONS can sometimes be less than desirable. All children also need to learn personal responsibility: that actions have consequences, and that at some point each person either benefits from good decisions or suffers because of poor ones. I would homeschool if I had the choice, but the curriculum and method of instruction would be different because each child is different. Our daughter is naturally active and outdoorsy; yet she has some learning challenges that make reading extremely difficult. She likes learning about animal medicine and doing outdoor things, even though we've provided her with different types of musical instruments and lots of books. Another child might dive into the books, but not want anything to do with animals or learning about household maintenance. You have to have a balance between making a child well-rounded, but also letting her/him develop into who God made her/him to be. With another child, I might be helping him learn a foreign language, build a model rocket, or helping him start a worm business. Again, each child is different. Parents who try to force children into a mold ("He's going to be a football player," or "She's going to play first chair violin,") often end up with miserable kids who sometimes grow up to be miserable adults.
Is there anything I'd change? Of course. We've been rather ambivalent about techno-gadgets. We'd really intended to NOT have any video games or techno-devices other than a computer. Well, that idea crashed and burned. While we've restricted technology to some extent, our daughter still has a tablet, cell phone, etc. Being comfortable with current technology is a good thing (I don't know a young person who is NOT comfortable with modern technology); but some of the games are huge time-wasters. If it were up to me, I'd also turn off the TV almost completely except for selected programs. There's just better things to do with your time.
I would also have started out firmer on rules about keeping her room clean, not wearing good clothes in the yard, and about doing chores without complaining. Even among the hard-working Amish families sometimes children get the idea that they should not have to work, however. I think this is something that all families have to deal with.
But again, each family and each child is different. The main thing to remember is that your child will one day be an adult, as in the novel "The Road," our job as parents is to provide our children with the skills and information needed to live successfully- both in terms of making a living AND in terms of fulfillment, wisdom, and happiness.