Do you agree that women don't really like jerks and assholes?

Question

I have heard it many times from some guys around here , that women only choose jerks and assholes. The truth is that women actually like confident, powerful guys. A person can be confident and decisive while also being kind.
When people say that women don't like "nice guys " what they actually mean is that they don't like doormats that always follow orders and exist to only pleasure others.
Do you agree with my opinion?

Answer 1

True for mostly people below the ages of 25 and/or in their teens - have never dated before (inexperienced) so they cannot distinguish between confidence / asshole - I think most people can actively notice 'red flags' in someones behavior - to continue in spite of the warning signs is usually a result of naivete or willingful ignorance with a wishful outcome.



But the analogy is typical a myth - anyone that is not the accuser is usually considered an 'asshole' or 'jerk' or live in a mythical island where relationships are supposed to be sugarcoated;



All the same - you can see the same in many men - often going for the most outgoing / confident / attractive women - and ignoring the introverted girls in the libraries.



The behavior is seen in all walks of life.

Answer 2

No. Being nice does not equal being a doormat, but people have that misconception anyway. (just because some nice people are doormats)



If women didn't like jerks OR nice guys, then they wouldn't date anybody. However, since they do (date jerks and a-hol-es), the logical conclusion is that they like jerks.



That's fine, but don't say you want a nice guy when you really don't. At least be upfront or don't say anything at all.

Answer 3

The problem is a mixture of revealing clothing and guys with little or no shelf control. As heterosexual male, I must say that a beautiful woman attracts us like bears to honey no matter what season it is and that this feeling is only enhanced when such a woman is wearing revealing clothing. In that sense you should be somewhat flattered if I guy compliments you. As for the jerks who whistle as you walk by, yell obscenities, or whatever else, they are just assholes and little can be done about that as long as they aren't stalking or touching you inappropriately. I would advise you or another person in your situation to call these people out and let them know that you dislike what they are doing. That said, don't put yourself in any unnecessary danger.

Answer 4

Largely.. That is pretty much it. Certainly When I frame that dynamic using those words, it's only so everyone knows what I'm referring to. Confidence and success make for a very appealing reproductive option for a lot of reasons. At times, these considerations can take precedence over the fact the bloke's an asshole, but being an asshole was not what attracted her.

Answer 5

The truth is every man is a jerk and an asshole they just don't show it at first.



The whole" women like jerks" thing is a mans way of shifting the blame away from their own actions.

Answer 6

I agree, i don't believe women like jerks or assholes. I think Jerks and assholes just like to pretend someone likes their attitude because they like being that way.

Answer 7

no. it comes down to alpha/beta. alpha is more confident, confidence breeds arrogance, arrogance comes off as being an asshole. they're all linked together.



in order to not be a doormat, you have to somewhat be an asshole. you have to sacrifice kindness in order to assert dominance, even if it's as little as telling your girl to work out coz she's getting fat. women love to be lead, and alpha males always lead. there can be no equal power dynamic in a relationship, there always has to be a dominant and a submissive. two people trying to dominate ends up in a huge power struggle.

Answer 8

I have been around various women who have fallen for ASSHOLES... Confidence is one thing... ASSHOLE is another... The dude from The Notebook, Confident.... Darth Maul, Confident. Buzz Light Year, Confident. Ray, Confident. Nemo, Confident. The Music Man, Confident. Bad Santa, ASSHOLE! ~Fin

Answer 9

Not all women are the same, so it depends on the individual. I think most women don't like them but there are still many who prefer bad boys over good guys.



Watch this video, these women talk about why they love assholes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3wSn0oGows

Answer 10

There is a line between "confident and powerful" and "jerks and assholes" and sometimes I think a guy is the first one but he is really the second one

Answer 11

The only people who say women like jerks are men who are looking for an excuse to be jerks.

Answer 12

I agree with you. But the type of guy you describe isn't always easy to find. I think a lot of women like jerks and assholes because they act confident.



http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201001/do-girls-really-love-assholes

Answer 13

I agree that confident women don't like jerks and asswholes. We like confident men who treat us well.

Answer 14

I agree after a certain age. When I was in my teens and in college I loved bad boys. However, as I matured, kindness and a good personality became my most important traits to find in a man. A guy may not be attractive, but once you start talking to him and find he has those traits, he will become beautiful in your eyes.

Answer 15

Who likes jerks and assholes?

Answer 16

Find find outgoing sexy guys physically attractive, in spite of them being "jerks and assholes"

But i would never date one.

Answer 17

"Do you agree that women don't really like jerks and assholes?"



No I don't. If women truly did not like jerks and bad-boys then they would not not exist in such growing numbers. Instead women DO choose these types and thus their behaviour is rewarded. When you reward a behaviour, we see more of that behaviour.



Saying one thing and doing another does not make it true. Even though admitting this hurts the feelings of too many women (look at the thumbs down; I actually changed my answer for this reason), this is the reality of the situation.

Answer 18

Yes I completely agree. No idea why anyone believes women like jerks and @ssholes. They also say women like thugs. No, they don't. if you believe this, you really don't know women. Most women want a decent man. You don't have to be jerk to be confident. Plenty of good men manage it. There will always be a small number of women who are masohists or have self esteem issues so they may be attracted to @ssholes. Most women aren't.

Answer 19

Yes

Answer 20

Yes I agree with your opinion. Many women dislike guys who are too kind. They just want those who are confident with themselves and with self-assurance. :) But it all depends upon the woman herself. :)

Answer 21

They will say they don't like them but most of them will fall for them anyway.

Answer 22

"nice guys" are just high functioning sociopaths



a more literary person would call them sycophants

Answer 23

Then how come jerks and a**holes always have girlfriends? ...

Answer 24

Yep.